You’ve probably read or heard the news about a dairy technology that’s new to Ohio … robotic milking machines. For some time, robots have been welding and assembling cars at Honda. Now some have gone country… milking cows on a few Ohio farms.

These robotic milking systems allow each cow to let her milk down as often as she feels the need – up to six times daily … any time … day or night.

The robot identifies each cow by scanning her tag, then serves her a tasty grain mix. Before attaching the milker, the robotic arm brushes and sanitizes her teats. When the system detects infection or antibiotics in a cow’s milk, it diverts it from the bulk tank, keeping it out of the milk supply.

This may sound new and space-age, but robots have been milking cows in the Netherlands for well over ten years. Robots now milk 20 percent of Dutch cows. The systems have taken off in Europe because inexpensive labor is in short supply.

The Dutch are even further ahead of us than that. Get this … they plan to develop the world’s first rabbit dairy…. Don’t look at me like that….. It’s true! A rabbit dairy.

The Dutch company Pharming has applied for a license to develop a 1,000-head herd of transgenic—or genetically modified—rabbits.

But they don’t intend to compete against bovine dairies. Instead, they plan to milk the rabbits for a protein that prevents a genetic human disease that causes spontaneous, painful swelling around major blood vessels. It asphyxiates victims when the swelling occurs around the throat.

This protein—the C1 inhibitor—can be extracted from human donors’ blood, but the process is expensive and prone to spreading viruses. And it doesn’t yield a large enough supply.

So, Dutch scientists plan to bring on the bunnies. Amazing!

But when you come to think of it, milk rabbits would have some real advantages over cows.

First, a herd of rabbits would take up far less space and resources. No need for huge double-48 herringbone parlors.

Second, rabbits have the distinct advantage over cows when it comes to fertility. Have you ever met a rabbit that had trouble breeding?

On the other hand, cows seem to conspire against dairymen, at every turn challenging efforts to assure a steady, dependable flow of calving and milking.

And who knows? If rabbit dairies took off in Ohio, we could end up with a new, exponentially-growing revenue stream to solve our state government’s financial woes … by way of a rabbit tax.

And then if I could find a way to genetically modify the wild rabbits that rob our garden in the summer and our cats’ food dish in the off-season, I might be able to put those critters to good use for the benefit of humankind. That is, after I train them to the tiny robotic milking system I’ll set up alongside the lettuce….

Well, time to get back to work.